Since I've become a Mom I have wanted to share my thoughts, and my story. I'm not sure where I want to start yet. I guess I could start at the beginning but that seems redundant. I guess I should start with the day I found out I was pregnant.
January 24, 2009
Nick and I were returning from a 3 day anniversary trip to Wa. We stayed with my brother, Justin and sister in law, Krystal's place and at our Nana Jo's. Overall, it was a pretty normal trip. I had stopped my b.c a few weeks before, my whole adult life I was a 28 day cycle. I knew in my mind I was late. That kind of late that concerns you, to the point you do not want to take the pregnancy to just to see, the kind of late when you just know your pregnant. I mentioned that fact to Nana Jo and Nick, both who shrugged their shoulders, I mean what were they going to say anyway? Nick and I were in a Dollar tree getting some pop and chips for the rest of the drive home. Jokingly, I grabbed a pregnancy test and threw it on the counter. Nick commented that all those dollar tests probably said positive, to get you to buy more. We made it home safe and sound. We had barely finished unpacking our belongings when I set my own fate, I peed in that stick. The box says, "Wait three mins". They over exaggerated that fact, it took less than 5 seconds it was, positive. There was no way. Ok, maybe there was a way. But it was a dollar store pregnancy test. Don't they all say positive? I screamed a little! Nick and I rushed out the door to Walgreens to get a "real test". I bought a double pack and two heath bars. I needed chocolate for sure. I called my Mom crying. Crying because I was scared. Crying because it was positive. Crying because this was not what I planned. I was happy inside, some where deep down inside. I had a rough falling out with my best friend Mandy a few days before. Looking back on those texts I knew it wasn't me talking it was the hormones. But how do you tell someone who is so mad at you that? I couldn't. Her husband Jake and her had last a baby a few months back and were planning on trying again the second he came home from deployment. She was jealous I was pregnant. Frankly, I didn't want to be pregnant as it was. I called her crying, I had to tell someone, someone I thought would understand. She hung up the phone on me. I guess I should have known better. We told a few people right then and there. I know some people wait but I was in shock, and when your in shock you do crazy stuff. My Dad was surprised. I vaguely remember what he said, something like congrats and good luck your going to need it. My Mom was so supportive. I honestly don't know where my family would be today if it was not for her. She is the strongest woman I know, I strive to be even a tiny bit like her, each and everyday. But I think that's a whole other blog entry. I know most women usually find out they have conceived because they have morning sickness, or their breasts are tender but I didn't have any signs or symptoms. I wasn't any more tired than normal. I wasn't craving weird food combinations. I wasn't even throwing up. I only knew because I am so in tough with my own body, I know that I stop my pill on Sunday, period comes Wednesday at Noon. But this was now Saturday. I don't know if I mentioned that it was also Nick and my self's two year dating anniversary. We got engaged the previous March, nearly a year before. Days before I found out we were expecting, we had paid for the park to have our wedding at. That was it, no going back at that point. So now I was crying because I was going to fat, pregnant, in a wedding dress, and I was already stressing about every ones reaction to the news.
That day changed our lives. Just some of the words I can use to describe my life the day before that are, young, free, in love, blissful, hard, fun, bright, excited, stressed, and most of all my values were different.
The next day I was a whole new person. I was in care of someone elses' life. I was going to be some ones' Mom. Mom.
The dictionary defines Mother as something or someone that gives rise to or exercises protecting care over something else; origin or source.
That my friends is where it all started.
